Ichibon's blog

I wasn't gonna write tonight because I am tired but I looked at the new blog posts & it seems like everyone's cancer is spreading to the liver. Why is that? How is it going to affect us? Anyone know?

I think I am getting really tired. Richard is up at all hours & is unpredictable as to when he will sleep or nap. He is so used to having me right by his side all the time.

I know I won't get all my dates right on but I need to catch up on the latest before too much more happens.

I guess we all need our esophagus. Not fair. So tired but I can't seem to relax enough to fall asleep. So I thought I'd make an entry.

Do any of you look forward to the week ends because you know you won't get a call from a doctor's office? I do.

I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I made an entry. The last week was furiously busy with appointments (sometimes two) a day. Even little Lucy had to get a mani & a pedi. That's my chihuahua.

I hate the idea of getting up in the morning now. I'd like to just stay in bed & sleep until this nightmare is over. Don't you wake up sometimes & start thinking normal & then go - oh yeah, we've got cancer. Kinda messes up your motivation. The I realize he needs help & he needs medicine & food.

Another day of these water works. I am so relieved to here that you guys cry too. I can do this almost at will!

Richard just asked me why he isn't hungry today. I wish he was. I'd make him something to eat but nothing is appealing. I'm starving! But don't know what I want either.

I'm going to have to come up with something for him. Maybe a milkshake. I wish he would want a big meat & poatoes dinner. Anything!

Been a crummy week - lots of crying, by me. Need to hold back more.

Hey:

I had no idea how much support & care there is on this website. Just day-to-day life aside from cancer seems like it's filled with really stupid people! Geez, my outlook is so cynical. But already I heard from some really & I think concerned people. That helps me.