Ruthless's blog

Ruthless

Meeting with Oncologist went well. I have no sign of cancer, so I'm still in remission. I didn't see the consultant, but the registrar was really nice and took an interest. Checked blood pressure on account of nosebleed and it was a bit high. I put it down to tension. The one on Thursday night/Friday morning was high, but the second one taken later was perfectly normal and fine.

So carry on as before, and stay positive. (my advice to myself). I shan't post any more about my follow ups, because they are completely normal. I might rave a bit if things take a turn for the worse.

Rwth

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Ruthless

I have a scan on Friday. I'm not worried. The last one was fine. Just swallow the potion tomorrow after my blood test and then remember to go on Friday. Why should I have mets? healthy lifestyle, no symptoms except the myriad of symptoms you get when you are in remission. I see the oncologist on Monday. A bit of a surprise, because I thought I wouldn't see him on this follow up regime.

My follow up regime involves 3 monthly blood tests at the GP with reporting any strange symptoms. There are always plenty and he sits there trying to look as if he has some idea of what they might mean. He's always been good for my usual medication, and very sympathetic over my Cancer, but he's a bit out of his depth I think. If I didn't like him, I'd see someone else in the practice, but this is no time to sharpen up someone new. I have to bully the staff to get a nurse to do the blood tests. They don't seem to "get" that it isn't supposed to go to their usual lab, but goes to the PACT centre in Oxford by post. So every 3 months, I get this parcel, and have to ring the GP to get a nurse appointment. More like gold dust than seeing the doctor. It lights my fuse.

I miss Kate Jock. I can't believe she's gone. Just seeing her pic made me feel less alone, and I miss Penny too. If her stone age diet made her feel better, why should she have been driven away by know it alls? This isn't a place for heavy "facts". Cancer Backup is where the real information is, or Macmillan, so this is just for support. Penny just got ridiculed and insulted. Now we will never know how she is, or if she is.

Rwth

Ruthless

I went to see the surgeon yesterday. He seemed pleased that I am so well, but doesn't want to do the hernia repair until I have lost weight.

I chose not to be weighed while waiting, as I didn't think it would do any good.

I checked up on him the other day, and he has more degrees and gongs than you can shake a stick at. He is a member of the board of examiners at Edinburgh, and anyway, he did an excellent keyhole surgery job, which healed well. I'm a bit disappointed about the hernia, but it's up to me.

I have sent Bill to see his doctor to make sure he hasn't any nasties lurking, and it seems he hasn't except for his cholesterol. She said she hadn't seen such a good pair of knees in a man his age, He hasn't stopped grinning since! Except when he's asleep of course!

I feel fine, but tired.

Rwth

Ruthless

I don't like this at all. I find the personal profile of the person who blogged the opening post would have been better on the left of the blog, and would be actually better left out, as before. Sorry Thomas, I appreciate your efforts to improve the site, but I don't think this is a winner. When it snows again tomorrow, you will be able to sort it out again.

There was a random blog from Penny with additional stompings from Seanty, and supportive messages from others. Because it was a long thread, it would have been better not rehashed, especially as we all know why Penny left us when she needed us. She gave us a lot more support than she ever received, and I wish she was back.

It makes me reluctant to post again, but I will still be here if anyone wants to send PM's.

Rwth

Ruthless

I have noticed that some people with diabetes find difficulty in sorting out their balance after chemo. I am now wondering if it applies to others with other endocrine imbalances.

I am hypothyroid, and while the tests show I am quite normal, if anything over corrected, I still have all the symptoms of underactivity. I make sure that I have the TSH, T3 and T4 tests, but they are fine.

Of course, there are a lot of undiagnosed people in the general population, and it must pull the normal level down a bit. I am running out of excuses to stay on my normal dose. Except the usual one of swollen ankles.

Ruthless

My CT scan which I had on 3 September was clear. I suppose that means I am in remission for now. The chemo was just a mopping up exercise, and I had no mets to start with, but it is a kind of relief.

Now all I have to do is lose weight ready for the Hernia removal, and find something supportive to wear. I keep on picking heavy things up and carrying them, without thinking. Laundry baskets, shopping, library books, reams of paper. The damage has been done, for now but I don't want the repair to fall over.

My husband has arthritis in his knee and can't really carry things, and I usually wait until he is out before I try. It isn't really all that deliberate, just the way it happens.

Ruthless

It occurred to me that it might help us if we could have some idea of where people are, not by giving addresses, but actually being able to name the hospital treating us. Where there is more than one hospital involved, a space for other hospitals to be entered. This, I thought should be able to be entered on one's profile, so that filters for those too could be formed.

It might illuminate any areas where excellence still needs to arrive, but often you meet people in the waiting room with different cancers from your own, but never the ones who come on a different day for treatment. I hardly ever met people who had radiotherapy, except when they were also having chemotherapy. What do you think?

If enough people want it, maybe the site engineers can work out a way it can be done.

Ruthless

I have been to my surgeon's meeting. I had no mets on liver before any treatment. I have since had surgery and chemo. I go for a CT scan when they send the appointment - routine to check that Chemo did what it was supposed to.

Due to extreme greed and comfort eating, I have given myself a hernia which can only be removed if I stop gobbling. Not their words, mine. I have 6 months to implement a sensible eating regime and significant weight loss which will need to be sustained after the op.

I can and will do it. I like the way they say it. No dietary advice please. It brings out the greed in me. As do all mention of calories or joules. I know what I am going to do, and since I have been known to lose weight over Christmas! I can cope.

So it is basically good news and plenty to do.

Ruthless

On your wedding day today. May the time ahead be full of love and laughter, and fun and joy for you both.

I hope your scarf stays in place, that you feel fine on your special day, and that you save me a bit of cake.

love

Ruth

xxx

Ruthless

I have been discharged from Oncology to the surgical team, who I think have done their worst, actually their best. My oncology registrar was very kind and said it all seemed to be clear, but the surgical team would do another scan. I asked her what had happened with my presurgery chest x-ray because just before my diagnosis, I had had a cough which only cleared up a week before my barium enema. I was afraid of pulmonary fibrosis from various long standing coughs I had had, and she had a look at the x-ray. She showed me on the screen that my lungs were clear, but said my heart was slightly enlarged. My CT scan was not available to the Oncologist, but she didn't know about the surgical team.

My GP sent me for an ECG and I am waiting the result of that. Probably nothing to worry about because he would have phoned me and told me to go in. Results come quickly.

I will ask my nurse consultant about the scan - past and future? and I don't really think there is anything to worry about. The appointment is on 11 August, and I shall put it out of my mind until then.

I think the cough was my body screaming "pay attention - I'm ill!!!" and now I have done what I have to do. I just wonder if there is something they aren't telling me, or if it is something they just didn't notice. I'll ask when she says "Any questions?" Or before I walk out.

Ruthless

Hello everyone

I tried to give Kate instructions on how to post this, but haven't seen anything from her, so with apologies to her, I am extracting the important bit for her to share.

"I was going to put this news onto a blog that everyone could read - thought it would go some way to adding a bit of cheer! But the dratted machines have won - again! Couldn't figure out how to do it, so here goes! I'M GETTING MARRIED!! Isn't it wonderful? We have been together for 23 years Mick and I, and over the years we have mentioned marriage here and there but never got around to doing anything about it. Cancer seems to have given us a wee push towards the registry office, or Town Hall in our case. We've bought the rings, now all I have to do is go and buy myself something special for my big day. Due to the weight increase - nothing fits me any more. Also, I'll be on the look out for a "cloche type hat" as I don't want to wear a wig "

Congratulations Kate. I hope you will be very happy.

Ruthless

Did anyone listen to the NHS funding discussion at 9 this morning Radio 4. If you missed it, you can hear it again at 9.30p.m. or Listen Again. Professor Karel Sykora was on and he was extremely lucid over the future of funding.

There was a good examination of top up self funding issues, and the availability of expensive treatment. Intensive Care is particularly expensive which throws the drug administration issues into the shade. Although it was presented as a contest, it was still worth listening to.

They did seem to miss the point that most people on Chemo treatment and Radiotherapy are not "in beds" next to others on similar treatment, but are outpatients at their Cancer centres.

They also pointed out that articulate Middle Class people tend to get the best out of the NHS, which I agree is true, but that doesn't mean that everyone should have the same treatment as the underprivileged, but everyone should have access to good treatment options.

Ruth

Ruthless

What a horrible word! For me, it is a liberation. First of all I have a border collie who makes it fun. Fortunately, I had formed the habit of being the one to take Cassie to the park in the morning. First walk of the day when the world is fresh-er.

When I fell into a big puddle and kept falling in, I went on walking every day, even though sitting down was an agony. It is with a pulled hamstring. I asked my GP for iron supplements to bring my Hb up - a discovery at the Blood donor centre a month before.

Eventually my doctor said that I should go for tests, and I was diagnosed with bowel cancer. I went on walking with the dog. I had surgery, and the exercise was just the thing to ward off thrombosis. I had chemotherapy, and walking the dog was perfect for minimising the side effects, though my eyes watered a lot.

I have a lot of friends in the woods. A tree called Cuthbert for one. I would sit on a bench and worry for 5 minutes, but would be walking again in 2 minutes. Now I have finished the Chemo, the walking is an effort. If it wasn't a habit by now, I might have stopped.

In the summer, I pick blackberries, and there are a lot of them to come this year. I could tell you where there are huge clumps of birds foot trefoil and lots of vetch. Well, yes I did have cancer, and sometimes feel grisly, but every morning my walks restore me. When it is raining, it is sure to stop soon, when the sun shines, it shows bright trees against darker ones. The hazel nuts are forming, as are the sweet chestnuts.

I do feel tired when I get back. I have breakfast and then think about going back to bed, but somehow other little jobs get in the way.

So yes, it is exercise, and I do get tired, but it makes me feel so happy and relaxed. It is such a help.