dad told can't be cured

Hi,

I'm so sorry you and your father are having to go through such a horrible time. The folk on this site are always willing to give help and advise but you haven't given us much information about either yourself, your father or his condition. Could you put more information on your profile and on your forum please? This would really help other members to help you.

All the best,

KateG

Alirea,

Cancers aren't curable. But they are treatable. I think the docs always like to have full disclosure on this point and it can really send you into a tale spin. So hopefully they can do something to extend his life without making him feel horrible with the process itself. These are tough times for you. I'm so sorry.

This is a good place to come however and get support, viewpoints and perspective, not to mention real help. I see many veterans on this site offering really good help and advice, so keep us posted on how things develop and yes do complete your profile more. People here on this site don't like to just give lip service. They really do like to honestly help and talk to people, so the more information they have the better they can do that and find you to talk to.

Hang in there! - Lori

might have to disagree with you habubrat i have been told that my cancer is curable i would hope that it is not just treatable as this is whats been keeping me going. if you have information that all cancers are not curable please let me know
sam

Have updated my profile hope this helps, thanks for you replies.
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Sorry Sammieo. Most cancers I should say. There are a few that are considered "curable". Glad yours is! Best, Lori

Sorry to hear about Dad and can fully understand the devastation that you are all feeling - but as others have said there are many of us that visit this site who are "vetrans" and have been fighting against the odds for some time - all is certainly not doom and gloom and unfortunately unless you are very lucky most consultants and GP's have as much knowledge of how to discuss things with patients and their families as "Hens have teeth"!

Rather than try to give you an idea what I am about can I ask you to take a look at my profile and read through it then if you click the more button bottom right you will come up with other topics I have contributed to - look through the ones that have Matt as the originator and you might find acouple with tips that might allow you all to accept where you find yourself today and enable you all to look forward to where you want to be this time next year.

Please also feel free to e mail me direct or through the pm facility - I certainly don't know everything by a long chalk but I might be able to provide some information and or moral support which could help you in the fight. Please allow me if using this site a few days to read and reply as my own situation has become slightly hectic just recently.

All the very best to you all,

Matt

Many thanks for your reply matt, i am finding reading through the posts on here really helpful, i guess we will feel a little more steady when we have a plan of action! Yesterday Dad was admitted to hospital to try and get his mystery infection treated, we also found out he is anaemic so hopefully will get some blood, I am praying this makes him feel stronger and as a result more positive. Since Thursday and the hospital appointment he has been ringing his friends to tell them he is dying, because he feels so poorly at the moment he has no hope. I really have my fingers crossed he will feel better soon.
Ali

My cancer too had spread to my lymph nodes, and I was given "3-4 months" BUT that was 17 months ago. My old hospital said that there was nothing more they could do to fight the cancer but would treat ensuing syndromes like Hypercalcaemia (excessive calcium being leached from bones and flooding the blood stream, causing feelings of nausea and mental confusion). Well, 17 months on I am still waiting even for the Hypercalcaemia to kick in. So, even if the consultants give out really scary pronouncements, take it with a pinch of salt.
I know a lot of people smile at my own efforts, but as there was no-one else to help me, I have tried to help myself as much as possible with good diet/ keeping mentally and physically active/ giving up alcohol and generally trying to laugh a lot and keep stres at bay (NOT easy with a prognosis like that!!!).
What I'm basicaly saying is, don't let your Dad lie down just because the docs have said so. Once he has had his blood transfusion, I hope that he will feel more lively. Sending Hugs and xxxx to you both. xxxx Penny

Thanks Penny, wish you could bottle some of your attitude and send it in the post for my dad!Went to see him last night and he is feeling dreadful, is sick of having cannulas put in he is on his 4th in 24 hrs, they keep getting inflammed, the hospital are non the wiser on what type of infection he has but are treating him for different things. he seemed very tierd and weak last night and a little confused too, am hoping things will be a little better tonight. am trying to make liitle plans with him to keep his spirit up, it's my daughters b day next week so i am going to shop for a pressie from him for her, and am planning to take him to the golf club as soon as he is well enough. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Ali.

Dear Ali AND DAD,

Sorry they haven't managed to trace the cause of the infection yet, his difficulty in being positive is quite understandable. During my treatment I was taken to the Pearly Gates three times but each time resisted going through - I was lucky as I refused from the outset to become one of the statistics and therefore whilst knowing what seemed inevitable never chose to openly admit it to others.

At one of my lowest points my grandaughter came to see me in hospital as it was my birthday - I was absolutely dreadful that day filling the "top hat" every twenty minutes and had to tell my daughter to leave - I felt dreadful that my grandaughter had to experience seeing me like that but before she went she gave me a big hug and said get well grandad..........and 2 and half years later I am still doing my best to satisfy her wish!

GIVE DAD MY VERY BEST and LOOK AFTER YOURSELF!.

Matt