First my mum and now my sister

Hi Kerry,

Sooooo sory to read your sad news. Just when you are trying to get your lives back on track. Are you and your sister going to have a gene test?
There are a lot of us out here having gone through what you are experiencing and being young (if only at heart) we are intending to go on for many years yet. So you guy's hang on in there. She is lucky she has 2 sisters to help carry the burden and support her. Take care of yourselves as well.

Keep us posted. Very best wishes to you all.

Lots of love,

Debbie.

Hi Debbie

Thank you for your support it is much appreciated - thank you. I've been to the hospital today with both of my sisters as my eldest sister who will be undergoing the treatment requested us to. My sister goes into hospiral next tuesday for a mysectomy (please excuse my spelling if incorrect) and removal of the lymph gland. I asked my sisters consultant if both my other sister and I needed to be checked and she has referred both of us to our GP requesting an appoointment with the family history dept. To be honest I'm not concerned about myself at the moment, I feel I need to concentrate on my sister, help her get through this and then take the preventative measures for myself. I really feel for my sister at the moment because when you really need your mum there for support and knowing that you have got the same thing which took our mum from us must be so difficult for her. Even though mum isnt here me and my other sister are, and we are going to help her through this, and she is going to beat it. we have to stay strong and positive even more so now.

Take care & thanks for being there tolisten to me going on (sorry) xxx

Kerry xxx

I am sorry to hear that your family has been given the opportunity to be strong together by fighting cancer. My story is not different from many - my dad died from prostate cancer, my mom from from pancreatic cancer and my little sister was taken at age 53 by gall bladder cancer. Feelings of indifference followed, accompanied by a lack of "zest for life" and an unwillingness to look for fun things. Thanks to a friend that experienced the same I can now recognize when a funk is coming and deal with it. About the only positive take away is that through sorrow my character has been deepened and the wisdom of mortality has been made clearer to me. I still have some things to ask my Father in Heaven when I see him again, but for now that is enough. I don't know you except through this forum; but I am thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. Please accept my best wishes.

Hi Kerry,
Well, thats the spirit. Non of us can change what has happened to us and the people around us, but we can soldier on even tho there will be times that we feel we are marching in concrete. I was diagnosed almost 3 years ago and was lucky to have a fantastic hubby to help me get through it. I have two wonderful brothers as well, but they were rather scared and did'nt know how to handle it. So took the "good old deb she can handle it" course. Bless 'em, we all deal with things in different ways. I have since lost my hubby to bowl cancer, very unexpected and a shock beyond shocks. But I still soldier on as I believe we have a life to live, up to the very last and nobody knows when that is. If you can keep the glass half full and find things to laugh at even when the timing seems most inappropriate it helps. You and your sister must look after yourselves as well. All the very best to you all on Tuesday. Keep us posted.

Lots of love
Debbie.x

Sorry I haven't been in touch for a while, as you know Tuesday has been and gone and all three (sisters) of us visited the hospital to receive my sisters results. They told her that they had removed a 6cm tumour from the breast and 15 out of the (I think they said 18) lymph nodes removed were diseased also, we were very shocked by the outcome. Anyway on a brighter note (I think!!) my sister starts chemo next monday, she's been told that she will lose her hair, so we are all off to Nottingham this weekend to get her fitted with a snazzy wig, hopefully we will be able to make it into a fun day (I'm very tempted to try a few on myself, always fancied being blonde!!)

I take it after your diagnosis 3 years ago you are now okay - I hope so. I am also very sorry that you have since lost your husband. I can't start to imagine the pain you have been through losing your partner, I can only slightly having seen my dad cope (or not) these past months after he lost his wife (my mum), I just know how I felt and still feel after loosing my mum, but I suppose parents and partners bring out different feeling. I'm just so glad you have two lovely brothers to help support you.

My other sister and I have been to the local familial cancer clinic and have been giving them all our family history, its quite scary when you see it on paper. Apparently at the moment we are at moderate risk! and depending on some more investigations on some other relatives will depend on if we fall in the high risk and therefore are allowed the faulty genes tests. If not I've got to wait 4 more years before I can have a mammogram (when I reach 40) great!!, luckily my other sister is 43 so she will be eligible straight away... Oh I'm so sorry debbie, I don't respond for weeks then I waffle on and on.

I really hope you are okay and doing well, If I try a wig on at the weekend I'll post it as my picture on the website.

Take extra special care
lots of love
Kerry xxx

I am real sorry to hear about your loss. In these times, you really don't know what to say to people...except that I am sorry and I truly am empathetic toward the situation. I have had a similar experience. Why do these things happen? I am truly sorry.
~Stefanie

Hi Kerry,

How is your sister, I assume she has made it through her first chemo. I found that one the worst because the next five seemed a life time to get through. But it all goes quickly. Did you all come home with matching wigs? I had two nice wigs, but once my hair had fallen out I found them too uncomfortable to wear, so, indoors i lived in muslim prayer caps especially at night. I really sympathised with my bald hubby, gosh my head was cold. when out and about I normally wore a woolly had cos it was winter and jolly cold like now. I did'nt like the scarves either, I felt that they advertised the fact that I had cancer. So I went to the charity shops and found some lovely head squares. I am doing real good at the mo, a few aches and pains in my joints but that is probably just my age. I felt it was important to keep busy both mentally and physically and laugh at every opportunity. I recommend reading the thread "Single women and when do you tell a new partner". She is a great woman and never fails to make me laugh.

All the very best to you all
lots of love and hugsxxxxxx

I was just reading your post and feel i can sort of relate to what you are saying as my mam died of ovarium cancer in 2000 andnow my sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I dont know which way to turn. My sister is keeping in touch by phone to let me know what is happening as we live too far apart. I did see her at the weekend and it upset me how she looked. i am not explaining myself properly i know.

But while reading your post you mentioned about faulty genes. how can i find out more about this.