Hi my husband has cancer of larynx

Firstly I'm so sorry to hear about your world being turned upside down by this terrible news. There are other people on the site who have had similar experiences so they will be along shortly to give you first hand advice about the side-effects of the radio to this area. I just want to wish you both all the very best and hope that this site helps you cope emotionally. Yes, some men do seem to bottle things up, and are more reluctant to avail themselves of the Cancer MacMillan nurses - but don't let that put you off as you can ring them and get valuable information and encouragement from them yourself.
lots of love xxx Penny

Hi Penny

Thanks.Having read some of the forums I think this will be somewhere I can come for help.
At the moment I'm concentrating on building him up. I'm just back from the supermarket with things I don't normally buy, full cream milk, cream, butter, puddings, biscuits etc. tomorrow I'm going to do a batch bake which is something I haven't done since the children left home!

Caz

It might be an idea to go easy on the cream, butter and sugar. Does your husband like fresh nuts(unsalted)? They are quite high in calories but they are also full of protein and minerals without the drawbacks of processed food. We eat them instead of crisps, and also grind them up for toppings on vegetable crumbles, or mix with breadcrumbs (wholemeal), onions, herbs and stock for a nut roast. Just a suggestion though! He might not like that sort of thing.

There is also an excellent blog by our very own "Escoffier" on What Now who has been posting recipes to tempt us all to eat - if you click on the orange tab "blogs", then go to the users' blogs orange box, and click on "more blogs". Escoffier's posting will be amongst the July blogs, so scroll down and find it. She is a chef, grows her own fruit and veg now, and has some fantastic recipes. She made the cakes for the Buxton Rave, our first real-like meet-up (there's another coming at end of August in Leicester by the way). Best wishes with the building up! xxx Penny

We saw the dietician at the oncology clinic & she advised the cream! She gave us a leaflet with lots of tips & basically she wants him to have a high fat, high protein diet. He doesn't put on weight easily & they really would like to see some weight gain before he starts treatment. They presumably think he will lose a lot of weight over the course of the radiotherapy. Unfortunately he doesn't like nuts but I like the idea of adding them to a savoury crumble. I also plan to sneak veg & fruit into other things.
I shall certainly look at Escoffier's blog. Thanks for the tip.

Caz

The recipes from Escoffier, and other users, are even easier to find now and the site has made a Foodies Corner, which is signposted from the front page as it were. Good luck with that building up, and I think it's great that you are intending to sneak in a few vitamins and minerals! Best wishes xxx Penny

Hi Caz, sorry to hear you are beset with this problem for your husband. Mine, too, has difficulty in putting on weight at the best of times, and I stuff sour cream, cream and butter into him at every available opportunity. He has little appetite after radiotherapy and chemotherapy, so I also have to do the 'stuffing' when he feels most able - in his case in the morning.
Feeling a bit nauseous after lots of fatty food and his 'Isosource' drink
is a problem, so I try to ensure he gets fresh juices as often as possible - the best to date is a mix of ginger root, fresh blackcurrants, carrot and tomato. Since he started with the fresh juices he's been able to eat more.
He also has a feeding tube, but he's never used it. However, it was there and its very prescence was reassuring, because during the treatment the weight just dropped off him.
Hope you have success in feeding up your husband, and that you both enjoy the process!

Pat

Thanks for the advice Pat. Unfortunately my husband will only drink orange juice - he's quite fussy! He's not coping too well with the increase of fat in his diet, says he feels stuffed & slightly sick. Luckily he does like milk & is quite happy to drink 2 or 3 glasses a day. So that's better than nothing.
Caz

Im so sorry to hear about youre hubby it must have been a shock to hear that news. Im in youre shoes my hubby has cancer and we found this very hard he stayed so postitive where i fell to pieces that day we found out. It must be hard for youre husband to try and put on weight i can only think of milkshakes and maybe Ensure which you can get from youre doctor or Calogen aswell which bulk you up. I wish youre hubby the best of luck with his treatment and you stay strong aswell and always stay postitive. Big Hugs Pink.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Caz, mine is pretty fussy, too, and juices were a no-no at first. But I started with a liqueur glass of fresh juice, and told him to take it like medecine for sickness, and it worked. Don't remember how often I explained why. Now he has up to 2 glasses a day and doesn't complain any more. He has it BEFORE having fatty breakfasts and drinking his special food. He,too, feels sicker as the day progresses and by the eveninmg doesn't want to think of food. Milk he drinks too, and says it helps with the digestion a lot.

Have you discussed the insertion of a feeding tube? Markus has never used his, but it was there if really necessary. Once or twice we were on the point of using it - the throat becomes so sore with chemo and radiotherapy, and there was so much weight loss when he really couldn't use it. But both hubby and doctors have to be happy with the idea.

All the best, Caz.

The diet is working,hubby has put on 6lbs! Tomorrow he has his radiotherapy planning appointment when the mask will be made. I don't know if he'll get the date for start of radio. Although I know about the possibility of a feeding tube I'm not sure if he does. His way of coping seems to be not looking too far ahead & I respect that. I,on the other hand, want as much information as I can get as although it can be frightening I find it easier to deal with things that way.

Caz

That's great news, Caz! Congratulations on your work and hubby's weight gain!You're right, it's important to respect your husband's coping strategies - you and I sound similar in our wish to find out as much as possible. The feeding tube was sprung on us by the doctors and, I must say, shocked us both at that time. It was also part of hubby's coping not to use it - he felt he was getting the better of the situation. And feeling in control is so important.
I expect your husband will get the date for the start of the therapy as well when he gets the mask tomorrow. At last things are moving for you.
The radiotherapy isn't bad at all whilst it's going on, my husband found, but when it was finished it was very unpleasant for a couple of weeks. But that goes away too.

All the best for tomorow.

Pat

Hiya Caz,
My husband also has a neck and head cancer(tongue/throat)and he finished his radiotherapy about 10 weeks ago. He had 33 sessions in all and I remember how daunting it feels when you are just about to start! Mick, my partner, didnt talk about it much either but through going to the sessions with him he started to open up and admit how he was feeling. Bottling it up is definitly a man thing!
If you ever want to ask anything feel free. I wish you and your husband the best of luck, stay strong!
Carrie x

Thanks Pat & Carrie.
Hubby starts his radiotherapy on the 14th. He's having 20 sessions with 2 shots in each, one to either side of his larynx. The radiotherapist still seems to be playing down the side effects compared to the information we were given by the oncology support nurse. No mention of a feeding tube so presumably they don't think he'll need one.
I went along to the Macmillan centre whilst he was having the simulation & surprised myself by bursting into tears. I thought I was coping fine today. Still feeling a bit tearful. Coming onto this site does help though.
Caz

That's good news about the radiotherapy. But whatever did the oncology support nurse tell you? Did she tell you all the only-slightly-possible things as well? We were ceratainly told to expect an extremely sore throat, tiredness and lack of appetite, and maybe sunburn-like effects on the skin as short term effects, and that there was a possibility of damage to other tissues as well. As your husband's cancer is somewhere else, the damage they told us could happen is not applicable to you.

I find that tears are a frequent occurence on this route as well. Usually when I don't expect them - like today, when the oncologist said 'Doesn't look bad at all' after the gastroscopy. Or if someone is unexpectedly nice to me. I don't think it's not coping, I think it's part of coping - you get on with it when there's something to be done, and use the release valve when the pressure is off for a moment. Well done.

And the site is a great help. People understand.

Pat

Basically the oncology support nurse stressed that radiotherapy is not an easy option & that hubby would lose weight, have a very sore throat & find eating difficult & would probably need oral morphine.Plus feeling tired, sunburn effects & the effects continuing for several weeks after finishing treatment. She also said it could take him 3/4 months to recover.
We also seem to be told different things on each hospital visit which doesn't always help.

We intend to enjoy the next week or so until his treatment starts & as our 37th wedding anniversary is next month we are going to celebrate that early whilst he can still enjoy a nice meal out. We've 4 children & they are all being very supportive so we have much to be grateful for.
Caz

That sounds basically what we heard and experienced - the tiredness and lack of appetite still hasn't gone, and the treatment ended at the end of April. It's certainly not an easy option. But although his throat was very sore for 10 days or so after treatment (not during), Markus only took normal painkillers, not morphine. The reults are impressive - his oesophagus was clean as a whistle yesterday.
I also find it confusing to be told different things all the time, so last time I took a typed list of questions with me, and made sure they saw I was writing down what they said, and who said it. It annoys me that we don't see the same doctor all the time, you feel as if there's no continuity.

I hope you have a wonderful wedding anniversary, with a huge tasty meal,
and a relaxing week or so before the therapy. You deserve it. And treatment is starting soon, and with a bit of luck this nightmare will go away.

Pat

Yes, this site is great for sharing information as someone has always got some relevant tips. I know when I started treatment, each time I had to sign a form saying I agreed to it, and that had the side-effects written out (albeit not terribly legibly haha!). Basically no-one can tell exactly what the side-effects will definitely be, as two people having the same treatment can get a different degree of them - so here's hoping your husband's are light. Good luck for the treatment!

Yes, bursting into tears unexpectedly: sometimes it just all gets too much, or, as Pat says, an unexpected kindness from someone opens the floodgates... I have also sat and cried at the sadness of some of the stories on here. I think crying can be a cathartic experience, as I often feel better afterwards (if in private) - or a right fool (in public). Lots of love xxxx Penny

I'm feeling really low tonight. We've just got back from a short break which we both enjoyed & even managed to forget about this wretched cancer for a lot of the time. Hubby starts his radiotherapy tomorrow & I really didn't want to come back & have to face things again. I know I've got to be strong for him but it's very hard tonight. Not helped by the fact that I've had a migraine today which I'm sure is stress related.Oh well I expect things will seem a bit better in the morning but I just needed to get things off my chest, so to speak.
Caz

Thought I'd update with the news that husband is now in remission. The radiotherapy wasn't nearly as bad as we'd been warned. He didn't have many problems with eating & is now a stone heavier than at diagnosis! Luckily he was pretty skinny before & actually looks better for the extra weight.
The worst thing was after radio had finished when the side effects were disappearing but so was his voice. He didn't lose it completely but came pretty close.Thankfully it is now back to normal - the first time in about 6 months.
I know it's early days but the relief is tremendous.

Really happy to hear that - it makes all the difficulties worth while - and also good news to hear that he's got his voice back!
Hope things keep on getting better and better.

pat