how can i tell my 5 and 3year old grans got cancer

we didn't tell my kids when I had cancer, they just got told I needed an operation.

Your mums case is different as she's got repeated visits but maybe you could just tell them she's poorly and needs the doctors to help?

Good luck with however you approach it, and best wishes for your Mum

dave XXXXXXXXX

Hi Jackie,

You could ask on the 'Contact Us' at the top of the page if they know of any books or better still go to your local children's library. If they haven't got a book in stock they can search catalogues and borrow books from other libraries on your behalf. The trick is to keep it simple. All the very best wishes for you and your mum.

Regards

KateG

to be mentioning the word cancer, because surely they will then want to know all about what cancer is - and I'm not sure there is a version that 5 year olds would find comforting. Children of that age are still quite adaptable, and if you can manage to sound quite positive and protect them, they will take things in their stride. I think the "poorly" suggestion is a good one. Good luck xxxx Penny

I actually rang one of the cancer backup nurses when I had to tell my kids about myself and they were incredibly helpful. She gave me loads of age related advice and sent me lots of info through the post - I'd definately recommed doing that. Also my GP was quite helpful. My youngest (he's 8) just asked for something to eat when I told him and the questions came later so not sure how much a 3 or 5 year old would understand but good luck

I must add that they said the most important thing was being as honest as you possibly could.

My 5 year old cousin and my friends little girls were told that I had a poorly throat and was going to the Hospital to get some medicine. When explaining about chemo they were told that the medicine made my hair fall out. ((hugs))

Hiya

I understand that you want to be honest with your children but personally I think they are a little too young to understand.

Saying that granny is getting tests, poorly this that would be my way of treating it. But we all feel differently so you have to do whats best for you and your children.

My children were 10 and 12 at the time I was diagnosed and I felt they were old enough to know. I never gave them any info just the basics but made them know that if there was anything they wanted to ask they should. I also got great leaflets from cancerbacup explaing how to tell kids which was a great help.

Kids are very resiliant and to be honest I think a 5 year old will ask a question say ok then go back to their train set. Dont beat yourself up about having to give explanations, take it day by day, be as honest as you can and take it from there.

Good luck

L x

You have great advice here and I agree. You can tell them she is sick and the docs are trying to make her better. Sometimes harder to fix than other things, but they are helping her. So let's get her a present and give her lots and lots of hugs and kisses. Stuff like that. They don't have to know what it is or how bad. They may ask some questions, but give them something real, but benign and this is very important. They will do as well as you do in handling it. So very important that you are as upbeat as you can be. Ok if you're sad once in a while and they see it, but not all the time. You know? Anyway, you have a lot of really great advice here. Good luck with that and I'm very sorry you are going through this. I lost my mom to cancer and had her with me until her passing, with my children incidentally. (10 & 12) They did great, right up to the end, by her side. - Lori

having read your profile I guess telling the children may be more difficult because you have also just lost your Dad to cancer, as you say - a very bad year :o(. Bless you Jackie you have been dealt a hard hand havent you (((BIG HUG)). Winstons Wish and the Willow Foundation can be found using google and they have in depth advice about telling children - I found it extremely useful and full of common sense. The general jist was - keep it at the level of their understanding. Never make false promises - ie if things get bad dont say she will get better - it destroys trust. But especially check their understanding of what you have told them - because they may not have understood it. I have two teenage daughter who know everything about me (terminal) and they have both coped completely differently - even though they are 18moths apart in age. Please feel free to PM me if you need futher help. Lastly I wish you and your mum well, love Jools x x

thankyou for all replys will try mac millan nurses, ye lost my dad this year not to cancer, my son does understand bit he wasnt that close to my dad as didnt live close, my mam we are close to they used to see her every day but she at hospital alot now starting 5week course of radio therapy next week , they said 50/50 chance, said its 3b ovariam cancer, just guess iam thinking on the bad side kids are asking now i tell them that gramas bad doctors giving her medcine, but my 5year old knows that grandad didnt come out of hospital iam getting alot of questions been as honest as can

50/50 is awesome actually, for most of us anyway, I guess is relative. Honest and age appropriate is an excellent approach. Not like we have instruction on how to do this. Many of us fly by the seat of our ever lovin' pants! Good luck Jackie! Hugs! - Lori

PS - check with Gran on how she would like it handled with the children as well. One she may have some good thoughts, she is your mom after all (smiles), and two, you guys should be on the same page so children aren't getting conflicting stories.