How to support in the best way.

Hiya it was lovely to chat to you just now Deecee. I am sorry to hear about your circumstances - you have to be doubly brave and its hard isnt it? I am sure that this site will be good for you - and perhaps your wife and son? We will rally round and suppport you. Its is a great place to share the ups and downs together with others who trully understand what the diagnosis and life with cancer is about. Remember to have as many good times together as you can - 'Make hay while the sun shines' - its fundamental to coping. best wishes Jools x

Hi Jools. Thanks for the reply. I just feel for her so strongly. I cannot imagine life without her. I and she, are devasted at this time. Hear from you soon. Best wishes Jools... David

I am also a retired Police officer. Married to Heather almost 34 years.
I am sorry to hear you are having a really tough time! In 1992 - we had just returned from a holiday in Portugal - when Heather was diagnosed with her first cancer - cancer of the tongue. 10 years later she was diagnosed with unrelated thyroid cancer. Another nightmare! I felt helpless but not hopeless!
We got through it by the grace of God, much prayer and very skilled medical staff! I pray that He will bless you with a strong spirit to cope with the days ahead.

If you wish to send a private message after reading my profile - please do so. You can also read and post on Prayer Support thread. You will find we are all very supportive on this forum.

John

Hello John. I too am associated with he Church being a Church Warden, and Carol and I have attended Mass regularly for years. I would ask you to pray for Carol, me and my childen during this time. We have been married for almost 42years and we are both very frightened, in terms of theoncoming treatment and the prognosis. Thank you and God Bless you. David

you know, i think your lovely Carol will know that you are supporting her the best way that you possibly can, you don't do 42 years of marriage without getting to know each other inside and out, but at least you will both be together in your love, your security as a couple and a family, and most of all in your fear, whatever happens, you will do the best that you possibly can and that is such a lot from any partner who is going through what you are at this time. you will find an inner strength, and though it won't be easy, please do not ever feel that you haven't done enough, because we can all only do what we can do
lots and lots of love to you all
Alisonxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Alison. Thanks for your reply. I am trying, and will continue to try, but it's very difficult. I find this site very helpful as lots of people, kike yourself understand. God Bless. David

life is such a challenge at time, this is one of those times, i can remember nursing my mum who died of cancer nearly 21 years ago, oh it was so hard, too hard to put into words, i never thought i myself would get cancer, i have a good prognosis but the fear and the uncertainty are never far away, it took a lot for me to get out of the "me me me" attitude and realise just how it had impacted on my husband and my children, and that is me who should be happy that i am still here and hope to be here for a long time, i now feel that i have had both sides of the coin, none of it is easy, but if we can support you in any way, be it only words, then you have them in abundance, because behind those words is a world of love and understanding of your situation. just treasure the precious time that you have together, because that is all that you can do, make everyday as lovely as you possibly can, and you will find an inner strength to help to see you through it all xxxxxxxxxxxx
love to you all
Alisonxxxxxxxxxx

hi david
i know what you are going through my wife has primery liver cancer. as aslison say's you know each other inside out now. so just treat her as you did before you knew about the cancer she is still the same person. it's what i call putting the blinkers on. all you have to do is concentrate on her forget about what might happen just concentrate on today and maybe next week. the mind can be a horrible thing it can take you to dark places just by thinking about the future it can take you to situations that might never happen and you have put yourself through it for nothing. i know i went there for 3 days so get the blinkers on mate

regards paul

Thanks Paul. It is bl***y hard mate. I wish that you had not got to go through this too. I will be praying for your wife too. Thanks for the thoughts. David

I think we 'spoke' in the chat room on Saturday. I just wanted to say that I've been living with liver mets for the past 4 years and totally understand where you're coming from.

My husband also retired early because we didn't know what the future held for us (I certainly didn't think I'd still be here now) but treatment is changing and I think there's a lot of us now who are living with secondaries for far longer than we would have even 10 years ago.

Take care.

Hi Sheena. Thanks for your mail. We are at the oncologist on Friday, Carol has an achinh shoulder so I don't know if it is in the bones or not. I dread going on Friday but will have to. She has been through so much already, I dread the oncoming chemo and radiation. I only wish I had it and not her.

Anyway, onward and upward. Your message gves me a glimmer of hope. I will pray for you too Sheena. May God Bless and protect you. David