Info about what to expect?
Posted on: Sat, 01/03/2008 - 16:26
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Info about what to expect?
Does anyone know where I can find some information about what to expect near the end of life for a person with secondary brain tumours? I can find all sorts of stuff about treatment, but what about those who have been told there is no treatment left and they're just going to die? The stuff on this cancerbackup site is okay, but we need to know exactly what to look out for so we know when the end is nigh.
My father-in-law has secondary brain and lung tumours and the two brain tumours haven't responded to the radiotherapy, so the consultant's not even going to bother with chemo for the lung tumour. He's now going downhill rapidly despite the steroids and my husband and I want to know what's to come. As we live about 2 hours away (even driving really fast), we've been going at weekends and taking days off work to go with them to the consultant appointments and suchlike, but we would really like to know what symptoms to look out for so that we know when it's time to just drop everything and get over there asap.
Can anyone help?
M x
Hi M
I am in a similar situation in that my husband (age 52) was diagnosed with kidney cancer in August. The cancer had already spread to his bones, lungs and brain when he was diagnosed. Although he received radiotherapy for the multiple brain tumours, it didn't seem to work and we are now in a situation where no further treatment is being offered. I care for my husband 24 hours a day and feel very privileged that I have the opportunity to be his carer. However, he is now getting very confused and 'sees things'. I am not sure if this is because of the tumours or the morphine, but either way it doesn't matter. I have lost the best friend I have ever had and to see the confusion on his face sometimes is heartbreaking. Somebody told me recently that I must have the patience of a saint to cope with what I do, but when you love someone like I love my dear husband, nothing is too much trouble.
Like you, I don't know what to expect from now on and I am grateful in a way that my husband can't get out of bed without my help because I would worry about him wandering off. So, from my limited experience your father in law will deteriorate slowly to a point where he needs constant care and understanding.
Good luck, my thoughts are with you.
Paula
My mum died last month, she had lung cancer and secondary brain tumours. We had expected her to live for a few months but, for reasons we don’t really know, her bowel perforated and she died within 24 hours, peacefully, under morphine. She was starting to get confused and couldn’t always finish her sentences, her hearing was deteriorating, she could not walk much and slept a lot. I had read some info on the Cancer Research website (I think I found it in the brain cancer section) about what happens when someone dies and it helped me to understand and cope with what was happening – I’d recommend it. I had hoped to have my Mum for longer but am grateful that she didn’t suffer for longer. I suppose the only advice I’d have is that when someone is that ill you have you expect that things might change very suddenly so be prepared. That said, my Mum’s death was peaceful so don’t be afraid. I wish you all well.
I lost my best friend last night she died from secondry brain cancer.this time last year she had a opperation to remove part of her lung, all went well and after a time she even went back to work it was great she had stopped smoking and we all carried on as normal,then we noticed her pesonality changed and her one side of her face froze she again went for tests and found she had brain cancer it was a terrible shock to every one, that was weeks ago her legs had gone she had been so active. on tuesday she wanted to go out so there was 20 of us who took her out for the day we pushed her in the wheel chair it was cold but its what she wanted,then on wednesday she was really bad she never had a sip of water which she was able to and i had a phone call last night to say she was gone which was a blessing she had gone from being a vibrant young lady to a old person in weeks i did not recognise the person in the bed.I would just say give them whatever they ask for if they want to sit up prop them up do what ever they want i have lost my best friend and my solemate i loved her very much.suex
Hi Sue
just to say sorry to hear about your best friend. She's at peace now
Barbara
My late mother's first symptoms were as follows:she fell over, twice. The side of her mouth dropped a little bit. Then she started slurring her words and could not speak properly. She could not be left alone at all as she could not function around the house. She still sat and watched TV at this time. But her arm stopped working, then one leg - people just sort of gently fade away. She was very confused, and the doctors said they did not think she was aware of what was happening.
Then she could not speak at all and had to be taken to bed and slept during the day, something she had never done before. She had to be fed, and taken to the toilet, then a commode, and then nappies. She did have fits although many people do not.
I don't think she knew she had the fits. Personally I could never have taken care of her 24 hours per day towards the end. She eventually (just a few weeks) went to bed and slept, and slept, then she had to be turned every few hours by the nurses, stopped eating and eventually did not drink. After she stopped drinking they told me it would just be a few days, which it was.
She was put on a syringe driver with (I think) sedatives for a few days towards the end, but then started touching her face and head so they added morphine in case she had any pain. She really was in a sort of coma for the last week or ten days, so knew nothing.
I was there as she drew her last, very peaceful breath. Do not be afraid, its very peaceful.
My thoughts are with you, Tamara xx