mum

im so sorry about your mum, i know exactly what your going through, my mum was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in november and died in march so i'm lucky i had as much time with her as did. i hope you and your family are managing to move on with your lives in a way you know would make your mum proud.

helen xx

sorry to here of your mums helen and wendy.my mum was diagnosed with the same thing march 2007 and died sept 2007.I had my sisters to help with all mums arrangement so you must have had it tough helen having to do it ,particularly being so young.check my profile where you can see my lovely mum .it was taken when we were both having chemo together.

Hi Helen,

sorry to hear about your mum and so so sorry you have to face this vile cancer with your mum at such a young age.
Take it easy but remember you are still a young women and its ok to split your dummy out and have a good cry !

wendy
xxx

Hi Lesley,

Sorry to hear about your mum and viewed the lovely photos of your mum, who must have been so proud of her daughters !
I don't know about you but life is just not the same without mum.
Lesley you are one brave lady with your own battle with cancer and sent you hugs
Take it easy

wendy

Hi, Iv Not long ago found out that my nan has lung cancer.
Shes happy about it becuz my grandad died of bone cancer last year & she just wants 2 be with him, shes not gonna have any treatment.
Does this mean shes just gonna get really ill and die? :(
Im really scared she'll go quick

Katie, 18

hi katie, it unfortunately depends on the stage of the cancer and where abouts it is. if that is your nans wish i doubt there is much convincing otherwise, especially if she was anything like my nan and really stubborn!
macmillan nurses are really good to talk to and they will make sure your nan is in as little pain as possible.
hope this helps although i doubt much will make you feel better at this awful time.
helen x

im sorry to hear about your mum. i just found out today that my mum has 6 months at the most left to live. She spent nearly a year fighting breast cancer and we thought she had beaten it. She collasped last week and after and mri, and a ct scan it turns out that the cancer has spread to my mums lungs and spine. as my mum has mild brain damage from something that happened years ago we cant bring ourselves to tell her and she is obliveous to it. im deverstated and i dont no how to cope as i am 4 1/2 months pregnant and i also have a 3 year old daughter who adores my mum. my mum is my best friend and she doesnt deserve this. she is only 51.

So much piled onto your shoulders at the same time! Well, no, if your Mum is oblivious to it, then probably it is a good thing, as it is enormous stress to have to face something like this. I feel so sorry for you, what with expecting your next baby and your Mum being your best friend. I hope that this Site gives you some much-needed emotional support. Hugs and xxx to you both. Penny

Hello I am new to this. My mum was diagnosed with Lung cancer in Feb 08 and was told it was terminal and after further tests this week she has now been told she has months to live. I am devastated. I will miss her so much and don't want to see her suffer. I am finding it so hard to accept and find it so hard to live with the uncertainty every day. She seems well at the moment and I have booked up to take her away on a small cruise but not until August. This was her dream and I am praying so hard that she will be well enough to go - it is only for 5 days. I have cried reading the other posts and just wanted to say that I really feel your pain with my own. I am trying to make the most of each day with her but as a single mum, have to work to keep surviving myself. I wish I could just be with her night and day for each day she has left here with me. It hurts so much and my little boy is going to miss her so much too.
Thanks for listening.

we are both going through pretty much the same thing. have you tried speaking to macmillen? i spoke to them the other day and it made things seem clearer and made me feel alot better. you really should feel very lucky that you still have some time left with your mum because not everyone does. i havent fully accepted it yet but im starting to cope. just remember to tell your wonderful mum how much you love her and remember that you will never forget her just because she isnt there in person she will still be there watching over you.
take care of yourself and you are more than welcome to cry on my shoulder if you need to. be strong for your little boy xxxxxx

My heart goes out to all of you at this desperately testing time. There are so many emotions going round im sure you dont know where to turn next.
Going on a little cruise is Such a lovely thing to do Daisea, I know it will be wonderful for you and will leave a happy memory for you to cling to.
Clare I hope that when you look in your babies eyes you see your mum smiling back at you.
The last moments are very hard and leave a lasting impression that is not always good. Wendy, I hope you can pull on happy times when your mum was smiling and laughing was easy.

Lots of love and hugs to all of you

Debbie and April xxxxx

I just wanted to say thank you to Clare,Wendy and Debbie for you messages on the forum. I don't feel quite so alone knowing that other people are also trying to deal with this awful illness and the loss of a mum. My mum has been quite well this week, thank God. It is still so hard living with the uncertainty and I worry about how I will cope emotionally and practically when the time comes. I guess that I am trying to remind myself to take one day at a time and enjoy my lovely mum whilst she is here. I really appreciate your support. Love Daiseax14

Dear Daisea - dont worry - you will be able to cope, I can assure you. I lost my own dear mother 4 years ago - not to cancer, but she became psychotic and had to be in a nursing home. I used to travel from London to Truro every weekend to spend time with her and honestly I resented it! I was tired out, and really didn't much enjoy spending my precious weekends with a rather querulous old lady. But we did have some good times together and now I'm thankful I made the effort. And looking back, I don't remember the difficult old lady but only my darling mother who was my best friend and the greatest fun in the world. Make the most of the time you have, and don't worry - you really will find strength when you need it. Much love, Kate xxx

Thank you Kate for sharing this with me. It is so hard trying to prepare onself for the enevitable. I don't think I really can at all,. Every moment is precious but day to day life is so demanding and I resent that as it is taking up my precious time with my mum. I pray that I will find the strength to cope when the time comes for my mum, for myself and for my dear young son. Thank you again for your kindness and sharing. xx

Hi Clarelouise,
we have just found out about our mum having cancer back again, it started when she was 58 (see my profile) and she is a very very young out going woman and is our best friend too! Me and my sisters have each other and a brother to support us, i am oldest at 40 yrs, but our children are devastated too because they are so close to their nan, we are again in shock from just getting this recent diagnosis. Do you have support? take care,
Rebecca x

i really hope everything goes ok with your mum i dont believe in god so i am really keeping my fingers crossed for you and your family. we scattered my mums ashes on saturday in such a beautiful place in Devon and i had a bit of a hard time with that because i cant just go and see her whenever i want because its too far away but im ok because that was where mum wanted to be. i saw a counsiller on friday which didnt really help me because she feels that i already done my greaving when mum was alive so i am still in the same situation as i was before but ive got alot of support from friends and family and thats what i really need.
Good luck with everything with your mum xxx

Hi,
I was so sad to read your reply clarelouise, Devon is so lovely, we have just come back from camping in Dorset was lovely going on long walks to clear my head and get prepared to be strong for mum. She started her radiation last week has 2 more to go next week. Will see her later, she is so positive and well at the moment and we are all making sure we see her as much as we can. Can relate to so much of what you are all saying and i am glad that one of my sister's has joined this site too because she took the news really badly when she got back from hols. If you ever want to talk please do. I still find the whole 'unfairness' hard keep looking around at people that don't appreciate their lives and think its so unfair my mum want's to enjoy and live her life to the full! bye for now, Rebecca x

Dear Clairlouise,

I am horrified to hear the remarks of your councillor. I think you should perhaps seek another.
I have been seeing a councillor since my husband died in July 07. I have said to her on 2 occasions that I think I am find and can carry on alone.
She has still popped in to see me and to my surprise I was not ready to stop. I have'nt seen her for two months now and feel fine. But she has made it clear that she is at the end of t he telephone should I need her.
That alone is so comforting.

please take care.

lol

debbie and April xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hello when i said that the counseller thinks i have already done my greaving i didnt mean it the way it says because i still go and see her and she feels that i still need some more sessions but she can see that i fully accept that my mum has gone and the fact that i dont feel the need to cry every day for hours on end because i am soooo relieved that my mum isnt suffering anymore and that she is no longer in pain.
i miss my mum every minute of every day and i do cry every now and then but just not in the way that i imagined. i thought i would feel like my life has ended but i dont because i still have my brilliant dad who is ok about talking about memories of mum which helps me see things differently. it sounds stupid but when i feel down about mum i can feel pressure on my shoulder and when i look i can see goose bumps and i know its silly but i think to myself that its mum letting me know that its going to be ok.
thank you to everyone for your lovely comforting words it means alot xxx