Mum just diagnosed with Lung cancer and secondary Brain tumor.

Everything at the start seems unreal, and you think, this time last week.... and want to crawl back there. I really wish that your Mum gets the very best treatment. Does she live with someone? Has she got enough physical and emotional support? Please keep us posted. Hugs to you, and please give your Mum my love xxxx Penny

Penny thanks for your kindwords, Mum still has Dad, he is shattered by the news, after being married for 54years, what can I say. Thanks again, Mum is in a bit of limbo just now awaiting to see the oncoligist on Monday, she just wants to feel the same as she did a few weeks ago pottering around the house and back garden, love to you too...xxxx

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum and really sorry that you have to start this awful journey. My husband was diagnosed in June 2005 and I can honestly say that the time just after diagnoses but before the start of treatment is really the worse. Once you know what's going to happen it does get a little easier, don't get me wrong it's still really hard but at least you get to know exactly what you have to face.
My husband wrote about his experience on a website (as that was his 'trade') www.johnnytherazor.co.uk, you may find it useful. Oh and by the way, my husband was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in June 2005, after six months of treatment he was declared free of the disease and has been clear ever since. The statistics are really terrible but you must bear in mind that there is hope and there are people, like my lovely husband, who do beat the beast.
regards
Lynn

It's was great to read your husband's wonderful website,and I'm certainly going to make those delicious soup recipe's for Mum....Love to both of you from a very grateful daughter here in Scotland...take care and stay healthy...love from mexxxxx

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, its never a nice thing to have to hear. my mum was diagnosed with the same (cancer on the lung with a secondary on the brain) and it knocked me for 6!
just know that there are always people to help you here, i don't know what i would have done if i didn't have the support of the people on this site.
hope you are holding up well, and if you're not then thats ok just let us know and we can be someone else for you to lean on or shout at!
hugs!
helen xxxx

How are you doing Funnyme, and how is your Mum getting on. So glad she has the full support of your Dad but it must be a terrible strain on everyone.
Helen, glad to hear from you, and that you recommend us all. Yes, it is really is somewhere to come home to, as it were, and share all problems - and also success stories! xxx Penny

Hello funnyme, I hope I come into the same category as your Mum, lovely wee Mum, I mean, I have lung cancer, have had chemo and radiotherapy and am now doing clinical trials. I have only one beautiful daughter, in her 40's with a darling grandson age 6. I just want us all to get on with each day as it comes and not talk about what might happen, I feel that time will come eventually when we have to be serious. I certainly don't want us all to be sad for the time that's left but to be as normal as possible and enjoy each day as a bonus. These have been some of the best days of my life as I don't worry about trivial things any more. I am 70 and still manage to keep fairly active and even look after Thomas when he's not at school.
I know your pain is unbearable, I can feel it choking in your chest, we feel just the same, but I can't stand to see my daughter in such a state and appreciate her going from day to me like I do. I'll ask he for help when I have to but in the meantime things are good as they are.
Please let me know if there's anything I can perhaps answer as a mother with the illness.
My heart goes out to you all.
Love
Angela
xx

Hi Angela,Penny and Helen, sorry I 've not been online for a few days...tomorrow finishes Mum's course of radiotherapy...then we can maybe take that trip to Ireland that Mum says she fancies sitting in a little hotel there with a log fire......hope I can find one that fits the description....Angela I think maybe I'm in the same situation as your daughter...I wish I had a sister or brother at this time......Mum is amazing...just like you all are.xxxx I send my love to you all in my private moments.... keep well....luv funnymexxxx

Hope i am not replying to my own son cos i am a mum who has just received this news. I am not going to go down the ill route i hope with gods help to follow the i am well now route cos that gives everyone hope and strength. Mums want their families to go on with life and make each day count and be happy. Its much too easy to give in to self pity. My kids have given me heartache worry anger fear all their lives but the most important thing they have given me freely is their love and in return i hope i have given them the sense and independance to create their own family unit. Nothing on earth can take away my love for my kids and grandchildren and the happiness that has generated has all been worth it so at the end all cling together, have a laugh every day and enjoy the sunshine cos the storms can wait until tomorrow. Celebrate your health, deal with the treatment and love each other nothing can touch you. love myra

Thank you for you kind words..are you starting your treament soon...Mum finishes a course of radiotherapy tomorrow....your family sounds lovely and they must think the world of you too....take care :) luv funnyme

Hello darling, I'm glad that you can identify with Gaynor (my daughter)in some way, as soon as we even get close to talking about my condition, one of us changes the subject, and that's OK, for now.
She has good, close friends that she talks to and has also spoken to the lovely cancer counsellors that are available on quite a few websites, including this one. It's tough being an only child, especially at this time but sometimes offloading is a stranger is the better option. Your Mum too made need someone outside of the family and more than 2 years after diagnosis I am meeting up with someone today to get rid of some of the angst that hits me from time to time.
I hope you've been able to find that perfect place in Ireland for your ideal break. Have a wonderful time, try to enjoy each day.
I'm always and look forward to hearing from you.
Best love
Angela
xx

Thank you so much for your reply to me....today a lovely McMillan Nurse visited Mum...next week Mum, is going for the day, to the Access Center at the Hospice.....for some relaxation,massage,lunch and then a chat...I think she will enjoy getting out and about again ....even just for a wee while...you sound such a wonderful woman...and Gaynor must be ever so proud of you....sometime I just want to scream...why my Mum...then I realise other families are feeling just like I do...thanks for listening Angela..it was good to talk.

Hugs to you and yours....luv from me

Hello funny me,
Thankyou so much for choosing to make me your buddy, what a priveledge.
I am always here and would be delighted to get PMs or emails, don't ever hesitate to drop me a line if it's just to have a good scream.
I went to see a counsellor at cancer care yesterday and said a lot of things that I can't yet say to Gaynor. It was such a relief to get a lot of things off my chest...I'd definitely recommend it for you and your Mum, it helped me to get all my mixed up thoughts into some kind of order.
Talk to you later, enjoy your day whatever it holds and tell each other how much you are loved!
Best love
Angela
xx

hi,
haven't been on here for a while, but our mum (a very young 60 yr old!) was diagnosed with secondary brain, her ovarian cancer diagnosed 2 yrs ago spread in the blood up to her brain so she has 2 tumours that she has had 5 doses of whole brain radiotherapy for. She was tired after and has now lost all her hair. She is on steroids at the moment, she is really positive, we do have sad, angry, etc etc days. If you want to talk more do email or comment me, try to stay positive and have hope you and your mum need that, i think that is the most important thing for my mum to have hope and keep looking ahead. When i sit and think about what my mum is going through i am so amazed by her strength, courage she is so amazing truly! take care, Rebecca x

How is your Mum doing after her treatment??? I know what you mean "truly amazing" sums up lots of people on this site.....Yes I'm trying hard now to stay positive..Mum said yesterday that she just felt overwelmed by the illness...like your Mum ...my Mum was very active before...Mum has always been fit and healthy until now....take care rebecca,luv from mexxxxxxxxxxx

I am so sorry to hear the news about your mum. In these hard times, it is so important for your mum to be surrounded by love from you and her family. Just having that support will mean so much to your mum.

I am going through a similar situation with my stepdad at the moment. 9 months ago he was dignosed with lung cancer and just 2 weeks ago, we learnt that the lung cancer secondaries were in the brain. It is truly the most horrific thing and painful thing to see those you love, having to cope with such devastating news. Hope is what gets me through each day and just knowing that my support is giving my stepdad comfort. You cannot beat the act of kindness when you are feeling vulnerable.

Thinking of you and your mum. Keep strong x

HI Lynn

I have just read your husband's website and think it is amazing. He shows such strength and determination. Lots of positive thoughts to him and your family. He is a remarkable man and very brave.

My stepfather has been diagnosed with lung cancer (we thought he was in remission) until 12 days ago when he collapsed and we found out the secondary tumours had gone to the brain. Your husband's blog is an inspiration.

All the best, Hennie

Hello Funnyme,

I just read your first blog and can identify exactly with what you said at the end - since we were told two weeks ago that they 'highly suspect' my mum has lung cancer, I have felt suffocated by sadness. My mum has been in a wheelchair for 11 years - she was struck by an illness that affected her cerebellum (base of the brain) but always the fighter, she has made the most of her new life (see my profile).

This morning at 10am we will find out exactly what the situation is and while hoping for the best, I am trying to brace myself for the worst. I am so disappointed that my brother hasn't been in touch since I spoke to him about it last week, and as for my sister - well she hasn't bothered with my mum for 4 years, yet I will feel duty bound to tell her whatever the situation.

I feel like I've blocked it all out for the last couple of days but this morning I feel distraught - yet I have to be strong for my mum and make sure that whatever they say to us, I ask all the questions we need to know the answers to.

Please send positive vibes towards us (hospital in Romford, Essex!)

Hannah xxx

Stay strong..I will certainly be thinking of you and your Mum.sorry I wasn't logged on yesterday..how are you both?? This website has really helped me...just knowing people will be wishing each other well helps loads.
Take care thinking of you both from me here in Scotland xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Can someone please help/advise? I'm sitting here in a complete state of shock and uncontrollable sobbing. My mum has been sick/dizzy for about 4 months.The family and hospital thought it was side effects from chemo/radio for her lung tumour which has shrunk dramatically.

My mum was admitted to hospital last week and I flew home yesterday from the Middle East to be told the news(1 hr after I landed) that my mum now has secondary brain tumours - lots of them and no treatment is available. Sadly we've been told it's a matter of weeks, maybe 2 months. My poor mum is constantly vomiting, has blurred vision, double vision and unsteady on her feet. This is not the woman I left 6 weeks ago to start my new job with the intention of having her visit soon. From a young 67, very active and healthy to becoming an invalid overnight has stunned me.

What can we do? How is she likely to deteriorate? I'm having panic attacks about my job and what to do. They were very good in giving me this week off but can I just stay here now and look after mum? I'm a teacher and feel guilty about the students and the fact I've only been in post for 6 weeks. Steroids and anti-sickness drugs are been given - that's all.

I'm so so angry about it all and don't know where to start/what to do/who to turn to etc etc??

Any advice greatly appreciated.

Many thanks.

Suzanne x

Thank you Funnyme firstly for asking about my mum really appreciate it!!!! ~We have been really busy with my youngest sisters wedding on friday/saturday and just to say mum said it was one of the best days of her life, which means alot! She was really emotional at times as were we, having all her 4 children and grandchildren there, and our dad (mum and dad good friends still even thought remarried, but were together 20 yrs, separated about 20 yrs ago), but dad was shocked to see how swollen mum looked from the steroids, he was choked because he still thinks of her as the sexy 18 yr old he met and married, in her mini skirts etc! but she is still that lady underneath, so remember that weecorps, i know you are devastated at the moment, we are too our mum has 2 brain tumours, but the good news is that she had 5 lots of whole brain radiation and we have just had an appt with prof brada at royal marsden after i asked for 2nd opinion. He said that the small tumour at the back bottom of brain has shrunk from 3cm to 1cm, which is great, but the bigger on top of head has shrunk from 4cm to 3cm, which is in right direction but need it to shrink bit more before he will go ahead with further treatment. But, just to update, he came into room with me, mum, step-dad and said he was undecided about treatment because usually only does if one tumour, but that was my cue to make sure we got what we came for, because mum needs hope to keep fighting this! So, he has agreed that we will go back in a month for another MRI and if big tumour has shrunk a little more he will go ahead with treatment. I think its called stereotactic? They have to make a head frame and take teeth impressions, others on here might know more about it? Then the tumours are zapped again i believe rather than the whole brain. So fingers crossed that it shrinks a bit more! Mum is still amazing, bless her, i am going to update my photos so you can have a look at us now! Good luck all of you and do contact me if you wish too! xxx Rebecca xx

Suzanne, I felt just like you if you read my profile you will see how angry we all were when we found out. Still angry and even though loved seeing mum so happy at the wedding its bitter sweet because it breaks my heart that mum might not be here for my daughters weddings, and she so desperately wants too, so we can only pray that she can keep fighting this. I would say don't feel guilty about your students, when i found out my mums cancer had gone to her brain from her ovaries which is rare apparently, i couldn't face going to work so had a week off, i didn't care about my clients, everything seemed so pointless, i looked around at people and thought how can they carry on as normal when my mum and family are going through this??? so unfair. Be there for your mum, your work and students will understand, just say how would you be feeling if it were your mum!!!
my mum was on steroids, still is and they really help she improved on those after being so poorly, and then had radiation for the whole brain, could your mum have that? If not, then be with her and try to make her time as special as you can for both of you, sending you a big hug Rebecca xxxx

Hi Everyone, Suzanne and funnyme,

My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer coming up six months ago, my mum was a very active 50 year old, recently she and her new husband took a trip to Europe on a honeymoon, before leaving my mum saw her GP, he prescribed some steroids as simply a 'pick me up'. My mum took these as prescribed, decreasing the dose on week four, the day she returned to the UK she left the tablets in the camper van and consequently went down hill rapidly. We called out of hours and landed in the A&E, my mum being prescribed morphine for the discomfort.

The week following, my mum was due to start Tarceva but because of the recent developments, the first thing to happen was a brain scan. As you can imagine, our worst fears being confirmed with five lesions on my mums brain. This explaining the latest issues with my mums balance and speech, also the random vomiting without knowing it is going to happen.

I can't quite get my head around how this awful cancer has attacked my dear mum, she was fine and positive, believing she would beat her cancer, now this! Now she spends her days in bed or on the sofa doing all she can to get comfortable.
possibly putting my mum off, so my mum has opted not to have it, does anyone have any advice, are there any other treatments? Does anyone know what timescales we could be looking at with just steroids as treatment? I hoped we would get Tarceva, do we still have a chance?

Sorry, I know my questions are direct, but I need an idea what we are up against, not only from the disease but the treatment options available too. I told my mum last year that I wasn't going to spend last with her as we would have plenty left with each other, I want at least one more with her. I will never forgive myself if I don't.

Any advice gratefully received. Love to you all.
Kelx

hi kelly, so sorry to hear about your mum, have a look at my profile to see my story. i think the best thing to do is ask for a referral to another neuro consultant if you're not happy with the treatment being offered? We have managed to get my mum a referral to the Royal Marsden and have now been offered further treatment which wasnt offered to my mum originally. My mum had 5 courses of whole brain radiation because she has 2 secondary tumours in her brain, primary was ovarian. My mum finds it really hard reducing her steroids, like your mum tired, lying on sofa no energy, lacking motivation. Does anyone know why they have to come off steroids? also, how long does it take to get back to 'normal' once totally off them?

My mum is going to stereotactic radiation, just going through the planning stages, but she is so tired now reducing off the steroids but trying to be brave!

be good to hear how you are all doing?

love, Rebecca x

Hi,

My mum saw the consultant yesterday, she has been prescribed tarceva and is happy to give that a go. I have read reports of it having effects on brain mets similar to those on the primary lung cancer. I am quietly optimistic.

My mum is on the scale of things coping so well, she is still fighting and believes she has something to fight for. She doesn't do very much and I think this annoys her, but she is here.

My mum has asked me to help make her Christmas cakes and I feel now she will be with us at Christmas, I wasn't so sure a few weeks ago, I don't think I would have ever forgiven myself for not spending last Christmas with her. Just counting down the days.

Love to you all.
Kelx

Has anyone mentioned Dexomethosone to you? My mother had the exact same illness, but this powerful steroid gave her time and quality, before the inevitable.

I send only good wishes.

Hi Keith,

I'm very sorry to read your mum went through this, it's such an awful disease. When we were told the cancer had spread to my mums brain it was a huge shock and in an instant it was like the cancer had won.

Dexamethosone is the steroid she is on at the moment, she is taking this as well as the tarceva.

It's been about five weeks, and since being given the steroids she has started to improve, I know the steroids will only reduce the brain swelling for a while, so fingers crossed the tarceva stops the cancer in it's tracks.

Take care
Kelx

Hi,

My mum passed away yesterday. I feel so lost, I don't think it has sunk in.

We had been talking about her going home from the hospice, she had been given a syringe driver and seemed to be getting on top of her pain, that changed Saturday and she stopped eating and drinking. She passed away yesterday at 2pm 3rd December. My sister, her husband and I where with her when she died.

I really miss her, I can't believe she has gone.

Mum if you are reading this, I love you so much and will miss you everyday for the rest of my life.

Love to you all.
Kelx