My sister has terminal cancer

I'm gobsmacked about the MacMillan nurses - are you sure there wasn't a confusion with the Community Nurses, as the former are there for everyone who has cancer - not only the patient but also family, and they act as emotional support and give advice on everything from practical help available to financial support. People should be referred to them upon diagnosis (although I was not told about them until my treatment brought me into hospital and another patient told me, so it may be that your sister's hospital was as lackadaisical as mine). They do not do hands-on nursing.
However the Community Nurses, if available in your sister's area, will only come out when the patient has reached the stage of needing physical help. You might want to check that one on her behalf, as although I only asked for advice a couple of times so far, my Cancer MacMillan nurses have been wonderful at listening, and I am sure that they would be ideal for your sister. By the way, I too am terminal, so I should think the situation should be similar.
Wishing you and your sister all the very best - I hope that they can give her some treatment to deal effectively with the painful hip.
lots of love xxx Penny

like Penny i am totally astounded by what you have written re the Macmillian, i attend a hospice once a week and i am not terminal and that is run by the Macmillian, please urge your sister to ring her local hospice, or maybe you could ring them to find out what they offer then pass the information onto your sister so that she can make her own mind up, also, is there anyone at her hospital that she could talk to, she really should have been signposted to services that are available to her in her area. i wish you both the very best at this awful time in your lives
Alisonxxxxxxxx

Hi Penny & Alison. Thank you for your replies. Things have moved on since I last wrote. I have just come off the phone having had a rather strange and fracture chat with my sister. She was rushed to hospital yesterday with a collapsed lung. Well, things are moving on. All of a sudden things are being arranged after folks at the hospital started things moving. Stair lift being organised, comments about having a bathroom assessment and some sort of homecare!

I am so pleased that this has happened. But can't help thinking it's only because they'll want her out of hosital as soon as possible. She isn't that aware of whats being organised as she is on morphine every 2 hours at the moment and can't keep her thoughts in any order or her mind alert!

She started chemo last week and was due for another session tomorrow, which has now been cancelled. Full body MRI is also on hold.

I'm feeling so useless & scared. I want to spend time with her but I can't - have to work. She's not just my sister, she my best friend. It's all moving too fast. How much longer does she have left? Know I'm feeling very selfish, thinking how much this is hurting me and how much I'm going to miss her. Sorry. Got to go now.

You care deeply about your sister, and you are supporting her. Of course you have to go to work, but you are maintaining contact and ensuring that things are at last being slotted into place at home. It's not a bad thing that tomorrow's chemo has been cancelled and may enable your sister to suffer from fewer side-effects. I'm very sorry to hear how ill she is. People can still hang on for a long while, and I'm sure that she knows how much you love and care about her and this will make a huge difference. Thinking of you xxxx Penny

i am so glad that things are being put into place to make your sister more secure and safer at home, lets hope she hurries up and gets well enough to continue her chemo. its so difficult having someone so close feeling so ill, but you can only do what you can do, just your sister knowing that you love her and support her will mean so very much to her, whatever happens you can never blame yourself for anything, thats the last thing your lovely sister would ever want xxxxxx keep us up to date on how your both doing
lots of love
Alisonxxxxxxxxx

Just a quick update. My sister came home from hospital for a long weekend after her partial lung collapse but was still very poorly. They had let bring home a commode as she couldn't get up the stairs very well. Her son set it up on the foot of the stairs in the hall and put two shower curtains around it for her. She wasn't too happy about it as she came out with diarrhoea! She also hadn't had a bath or shower for the 5-6 days she was in there. I went over to see her and helped her to have a bath, the whole process took over two hours! I can't imagin what she felt like having her big sister bathe her. I'm so proud of her courage.

She had to go back to hospital on the Monday as she was booked in to have a camera into her lung! She was there until late Tuesday when someone finally told her there was no one available to do the procedure and sent her home telling her they would send her an apointment.

Monday this week she went for her full bone scan and then went in this Tuesday to have the camera thingy. The put a line in her wrist and then someone came to her and said they didn't really know why she was there as she didn't need to have it done!!!!

Yesterday she had the stairlift installed which she thinks is brilliant. Still can't get in the bath to shower so is keeping fresh with wet wipes! Someone is supposed to be ringing her today to do a bathroom assesment. Now waiting on confirmation of appointments to get the results of the bone scan and to see her oncolgist.

I think I should write in another forum from now on. What do you think?
Thank you. Bee