New, not coping

Hello Jinete and welcome

Ive sent you a private message

Talk soon

Lesley x

I am so sorry for your situation, and it must indeed be very very hard to try to protect your elderly parents and your partner from the full force of your illness. However I do think that this is a time when you shouldn't have to pull punches especially with your partner. In sickness or in health and all that implies. I know that may not be practical (my partner is a bit in denial and glares at me if I try to explain that I am in pain or afraid). Do you have a Cancer macMillan nurse assigned to you yet? I was not told about them when I was diagnosed, and didn't find out that they were available to give emotional support and advice on a range of subjects until a fellow patient told me at the end of my first set of treatments three months later. I wonder if you also have not been told. You can contact them via your GP surgery or via the hospital. They will listen, and you can let it all out: they are experienced at dealing with patients and I hope will be able to help you.
please keep us updated upon your progress. Lots of love and gentle hugs xxxx Penny

Hi Jinette,

So sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis. Life is pretty scary at times and sooo unfair.

I did the mastectomy/chemo/now having rt route so can't answer your question from personal experience exactly. I live alone and feel obliged to try and put a brave face on things for friends family and colleagues cos I don't want them to think I am a moany weepy minney and not want to continue to support me but in the middle of the night things sometimes seem very bleak.

Re the advice you have had re chemo first......I remember after an information overload just after my diagnosis on Christmas Eve when I was told their plan I was asked if I wanted a second opinion. When I thought about it I realised I didn't....I was having enough trouble getting my head round what was happening and I am not medically trained so if there was different advice how would I know which to choose? So I sort of put myself in their hands and went with the flow?

Don't know if that helps at all? Please PM me if you think of any questions later at this horrid scary time.

Lots of love and luck

Diane xx

Hi Penny - I thought Macmillan nurses only helped people who were diagnosed as "terminal" - no-one has spoken to me about them at all, so your comments are really helpful.

It seems I have a lot to learn. thank you for your advice

Diane thank you for your reply. I think part of my issue is not being in control. I am used to holding my own and finding the unequal distribution of power in the dr/patient relationship somewhat irksome (shades of control freakery, I know).

Also I love your term "moaney, weepy minney" - I shall ensure I entitle my down-days MWM days from now on:)

Thanks for your kind words, and take very good care.

No, I was definitely told about them by a lady who is a survivor, and I am sure that they are there for anyone with cancer, and also for their families. Hope you can get some support now! Seems to be very patchy as to who is referred and to not, depending upon one's medical team. Roll on the spread of Maggie's Centres! These are charitable new-builds designed specially for people affected by cancer in any way. Their functions are so obviously needed. xxx Penny

spoke to Macmillan nurse at the hospital today. Couldn't believe how helpful they were, particularly in contrast to the two nurses who conducted my bone scan today, who abandoned me to discuss their plans for the weekend (along with much giggling) throughout the session. Thanks again for everyone who has replied, I feel this forum is going to be a lifeline for me!

hi jinete
im new to this site too and have just come across your post.
it is 1 year today since my diagnosis and i too found it sooo hard to tell people and did as you have and put on my bravest face even in the darkest moments as i have young children and an elderly father.
my dad lost my mum to BC when i was only 6 years old so to tell him was really hard and even now im careful as to how i word things so as not to worry him.
its really hard to know whats best to do in this situation but i do believe in honesty is the best policy ...my children asked the dreaded question...are you going to die??? and i told them hopefully not for a real long time as i was getting the best treatments and everyone is working really hard to make me better.
on a slightly brighter note i see you enjoy horse riding...me too..or i did until IT happened...i have my own horse and see him every day...just started back riding after 10 months off then had another opp so due back in the saddled in 2 weks..cant wait as i need to get back to normal!! whatever that is now!!!
take care and i hope your treatment goes well
love mandie