ovarian cancer, secondary brain

Rebecca

While you are never going to be able to forget the prognosis altogether, try to narrow it all down to the next stage, the next appointment, the next treatment.

Have some fun. Go out with her somewhere nice. For the day, for a week. Just because she has cancer, it doesn't mean she can't enjoy herself. You will bond with each other more than ever, and it can be magic. There are some lovely gardens in the South, and there is always the sea. Just listening to the sea is a wonderful release. It stops you thinking.

I wasn't too bad with a good prognosis, but by dividing it all up and dealing with things as they arose, I could cope, and so could my husband. I go for a walk every day, and at some stage, I used to sit and worry for 5 minutes. I couldn't keep it up. I would be walking again within 2, and the gremlins would stay away and I got a good night's sleep.

Cancer can be a wonderful experience for some people. People I hardly knew are now almost my best friends. Best friends are still friends. There seems to be so much love about.

Just because your mother is so ill, it doesn't mean neither of you can be joyful. Live for the moment, be happy, (an effort of will, but it can become a habit) and you will be able to cope and give the love you want to give.

Yes, agree with Ruthless there - and I have zero hope of recovery so I know what it feels like. I would definitely agree that one can still enjoy life but it's much harder, and every hand that helps you is very much appreciated. Wishing you and your Mum the very best of luck. xxxx Penny

Hi, i have updated a photo of my mum on my profile trying to put the same one as my profile, so fingers crossed!!!
I am the eldest of mum's daughters, i am 40, and there are 4 of us, my brother and i have been supporting mum and her husband but tonight have to break the news to my 2 younger sisters one in her 20's and the other in her 30's, they have both recently had their 3rd babies, I have 2 daughters and my brother has 1 daughter so its just so much heartbreak...
they think mum might have had a mild stroke. We are really angry about how her GP treated her!
it's really helpful reading your stories, so much on hear to look through. xx Rebecca xx

It is so hard for us all to take in. I don't really blame GPs, when they have to diagnose everything. They are all good at some things, and not at others. Cancer is so insidious, and it pretends to be so many trivial things. So many people I know only discovered their cancer by accident. I found out that my haemoglobin level was low when I went to give blood, and it wasn't high enough. I didn't tell my GP until a month after the test results came through and I fell in the park with a pulled hamstring. I asked him for some iron tablets, and he monitored my Hb levels until he thought it was time to take some tests. And I myself resisted for a couple of months.

OK, my GP did what he should, but it is so difficult to pick it up. They are doing bowel cancer screenings because so many people present late. I was just in time, even after nearly a year's delay.

So many people have slight strokes without any other implication, it could have been a benign cause after all. I'm sure he is really sorry to have missed it.

Being angry won't help you cope. You have to let it go and look forward to making her life enjoyable. You will have so many happy times if you work at it, that you can have the joy of her company for longer.

My daughter is 40 and has been a joy and support to me. Aren't we lucky, your mother and I to have such lovely daughters!

Ruth