Single Female: When do you tell a new partner?
Posted on: Sun, 16/03/2008 - 22:04
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Single Female: When do you tell a new partner?
I had a right side, full mastectomy over 5 years ago, I was divorced at the time, the only people to see me topless was my family. I met a new man 3 years ago and we had a good relationship for 2 years, my only having 1 boob did'nt worry him at all, as we were friends for nearly a year before we got together, so he knew my situation. Unfortunately we split up over something else. However I'm free and single again. As there is no where to go to meet members of the opposite sex, especially in your late 40's, I have been doing the internet dating thing, (SHOCK_HORROR) been chatting to a few nice gentlemen, 1 man I was chatting to with the webcam on told me he was a BOOB man, I thought it would be a good idea to put him in the picture about my boobless state, the look of horror on his face, I think he forgot the webcam was on, it really knocked my confidence a lot, that was christmas time, Well recently I started looking again, (yes I get lonely and in need of a cuddle or some male company,) and have been chatting some really nice men, good family men, am going to meet 1 of them next week, (easter) When is best to tell a new man I only have 1 breast and the other is plastic chicken fillet that is dropped in my bra to even things up. do I tell him at the first meeting or wait till we establish a relationship and hope for the best.
I'm sure there must be many single women out there like me who need some male company or a new relationship, come on you guy's help us ladies out and tell us when do you think we should tell a man we only have 1 breast and would you reel in horror at our scars, ( mine is called a shark bite)would you make us feel any less of a woman because of it?
I know this sounds like flippant, throwaway comments on such a serious illness but thats how I get through, my sense of humour, it hasn't let me down yet.
What do you all think about a cancer DATING SITE, that way we all know what we are going to get?
Hi Dorne,
Thanks for having such a great sense of humour it really put a smile on my face when I read the bit about needing a one handed man. Like you, I find my sense of humour has kept me from going under. I have not long lost my hubby and feel extremely lonely. I know I am not needing a new man in my life at the mo but who knows someday in the future I might think it time for some company. But being lopsided has made me think where does one start when meeting someone new. I am about to have a recon, but even then it will still be a talking point. I wait in anticipation to hear how you approach the subject and what reaction you get. I wish you all the best of luck, I'm sure there are plenty of guy's out there that are interested in the fairer sex for their personality first off. If not, I would like to know what makes them so special.
Lots of love.
Debbie.
my glass is always half full
hi Debbie,
I am so sorry you lost your husband and going through this alone, your lucky that you can have rec, I could'nt cause I suffer with blood clots, usually in my lungs so it was not an option for me. I think like you, you have got to keep your humour going, although there are bad, crappy days when it dessert's you, I quite agree with your comments about men being so special, would we think any less of them if they only had one ball for instance, I think not, it's just less of a handful. I think the lonelyness is the problem, my kids are all grownup but I still feel lonely sometimes. You don't want to talk to family and friends cause they don't really understand what your going through. My mum is now diagnosed with bowel cancer so I can talk and understand her worries although it's awkward talking about the sexual side of things, cause she doesn't understand that one. keep in touch, I'm going away for easter so will be back next week. take care, you have friends here!!!
Hi dorne,
Yet again you made me laugh. Thanks so much, I am beginning to build up a picture of what we can come to expect i.e. a one handed, slightly lopsided man with impaired sight!! Still if he looks like Jean Christou Novelli I'd have no trouble forgiving him.
Have a good easter.
Happy hunting!
my glass is always half full