worried about my mum
Posted on: Fri, 13/06/2008 - 21:39
Offline
worried about my mum
hi, early last month my mother felt a lump in her right breast and went to see her gp, her doc found another lump under her armpit and referred her to a local hospital, things moved very quickly from there onwards as she had a biopsy and was told that both lumps were cancerous(they only measured 1.5cm and 1.75cm) grade 2 , it was her choice to have a mastectomy and was told that she would have all of her lymph nodes removed, i personally was unhappy with the treatment and the staff at the hospital as my mum was told loads of things after her op that made her get her hopes up (apparently though the surgeon was spot on though)!!
i.e she was told that she had only had one node removed as the surgeon felt that only this one was necessary, when in reality, the oncologist informed her today that they had all been stripped out!! there was loads of administritive errors regarding her oncologist appointment, even after surgery she found out from the consultant that she had been given the wrong chest drain (which wasnt emptied for 3 days!!) and also post op, she was stuck in a gynocology ward because of bed shortages in the cancer suite and the nurses there obviously werent trained to deal with breast cancer patients!!
anway, im going to get off my soapbox now and ask for any advice on the current situation that she faces, at her oncologists appointment today, as well as being informed that she had a full lymph node removal (9 or ten i think)she was told that the surgeon could only find 1 lump and that was the one near her armpit, apparently the lump in her breast must have been dispersed during the initial biopsy!! the oncologist then went on to say that even though she had had a full lymph node removal, it was only the first node that had a hint of cancer and that she would need a 6 month course of chemo, the cancer was hormone receptive and the oncologist even went on to admit that no-ones knows, whether or not, chemo actually stops any stray cancerous cells from spreading!!!
my dad on the other hand doesnt think that she should have the chemo and its just the doctors covering their own backs, so to speak.
My mother is a very strong person and im just worried that she will side with my father and refuse the chemotherapy, they both have different views but i belive that its my mothers body and that its up to her to decide, i am worried sick of the thoughts of her having chemotherapy but i know it would be for the best.... i know nothing about chemotherapy and am wondering, what are the side effect?? can it kill a person??
i understand that im rambling on but i still cant belive that my mum had got cancer and im worrying myself into a bad state of health :(
I don't suffer from breast cancer myself, but have had lymph nodes affected by cancer (melanoma). I was not offered chemotherapy as melanoma doesn't respond to it, but if I had, I would have jumped at the chance.
It sounds as though the surgeons are confident that they've removed everything, but the chemo just makes it that little more certain. It can be a bit horrible to go through, and the side effects can be bad, but I'm sure it would be worth it.
You'll get loads of advice on this subject, John. Just wait and see.
Try not to worry too much, your mum is in safe hands, and the medics really do know what they're doing in relation to breast cancer.
Take care!
Marsha x
Of course incidents like that cause us to doubt what being's told us, and add to the confusion and emotional pain of patients. Some hospitals don't seem ton care about that! However, hopefully they will well and truly pull up their socks now. Make sure that someone - you if you can - goes with your Mum, and gets any questions answered.
It's hard with the chemo - it can really knock you out, but on the other hand, if the doctors say that it could be what stops this awful thing from returning, then it would be better to take it. I would say at least give it a go.
Wishing you the very best of luck Please give your Mum and Dad my very best wishes. xxx Penny
Penny
thanks for the replies, its just horrible for both my mother and family for her to have been messed about quite a lot in a condition as serious as cancer, post-op in the ward, she was extremely positive and to be honest, i couldnt belive how well she had been taking the surgery, she had and still has full movement of her right arm and doesnt have any discomfort what-so-ever, she is a tough cookie and only ever accepted paracetamol after the surgery!! its just since she was discharged that all of the silly admin mistakes from the hospital and being told different things by the surgeon and oncologist etc, its shattered her confidence and thats why she is even considering refusing chemotherapy, my dad keeps telling her that the hospital have done what they set out to do and that she doesnt need any poison pumped into her body, i hope that my mother follows her own head on this matter, like i said to her, everybody has an opinion but its her body and ultimately its down to whatever she decides, on the whole i think that my dad is stressed and because he lost his dad to liver cancer i know that he is as scared as the rest of my family.